When the Shoe Drops

It's always, for most people, the dreaded "THAT phone call" that comes. The one telling of an accident or that someone died. Your heart can't help but race and everything else in your life drops away to what people are saying over the telephone.
I wrote in May that my Dad's urinary infection would likely return and that I struggled with the POA role to make that decision to stop hospitalizaing and treating an infection that won't go away. On July 20th, that phone call came to me around 3pm, while I was at work. I was asked what I wanted to do. Yikes, I went through that excruciating pain last May coming to that conclusion. Now, we're revisiting that decision? Really? 
So, in the past 4 days I have talked and talked and talked to friends, pastors, chaplains. While I take a deep breath I've decided that by making the decision in May when I was informed but not under stress, that that decision will stay.
Dad is comfortable, alert and around people who care for him. I visited him Sunday and he seemed OK. He's getting an oral antibiotic and we'll see what transpires. Now, doing a fair amount of reflection- while he was at my  home earlier this month, I noticed his stamina was poor, he would get winded with just transferring from the bed to the wheelchair.
I will miss him greatly. He is a wonderful person and truly my lifelong mentor and guide to life. While he may not realize it, he's teaching me how to deal with the end of life.
Many of my friends, too are learning how far they'd want their own family members to take their illness. One nurse I know has a list of what she does NOT want to have happen, rather than the currently vague language in POA papers deciding benefit to the individual.  Maybe that's the lesson. Maybe God is having me dig deep and those who are in the journey with me, to dig deep.
That same night I received that call, my devotional book had the following reflection:

"I will restore your Soul"

I will never leave you alone, but I will keep you safely in the shelter

of My sheepfold. I am the Good Shepherd, and I will bring you into

green pastures and cause you to lie down by still waters. I will lead you in the

path of righteousness. Fear no evil; I am with You. My rod and staff

 are Your comfort. I have prepared a table for you in the presene

of your enemies. Goodness and mercy will follow you all your days, and you

will dwell with Me forever.

Psalm 23, NIV

From: Daily Declarations for Spiritual Warfare John Eckhardt 2011, Charisma House

(Of note: The timing of this also coincided with the senseless Colorado Movie Theatre Movies,  this Psalm could also provide comfort to the people of Aurora, Co and our country.)