While my Dad has not named a "bucket list" formally-he has done so by casual conversation. A year ago, in early September, when his urinary tract infection had gotten to a point of needing a hospital course, and together we discussed what the treatment would involve and what not treating it would mean, he mentioned having a chance to again "see me on a daily basis." I took this to mean, living in the same house. I responded that I hadn't lived at home for a long time, but he persisted that it would be a good thing.
Lo and beyond- at the week of July 4th, the power went out at their assisted living site and I took my parents to my home. I reminded him, that he got his wish.
Another "bucket" item was to be seeing the extended family again. He forgets that many of his siblings are now also older and unable to do the driving they did in their youth. He has lamented this greatly as he lived in a large family (9 siblings) and I think, misses that environment. Again-lo and behold, my Uncle died in August. I went to Dad's room and told him of his brother's passing and that the wake was that same day- he very willingly went along with me, and went to the wake. He was welcomed by my many cousins, aunt, uncles and other related people. He came away feeling warmed by the experience and while we gathered for a mourning experience, he was contented to see the many people and be acknowledged as Uncle Ralph. It was a great moment and I was happy to provide it for him.
The bucket list- sometimes, its simple things- like being with family-to be immersed in the love that can only be in a family. I was grateful, he could manage to get in my car and we could safely get there and be in the midst of other family.
How lovely. A few women and I were talking about being able to help with our parents as they get older. I feel so blessed to have had mine relatively close--and mom, til she died, was emailing everyday! What a gift that was.
ReplyDeleteglad you are out with your dad. How fun and bittersweet!
Maggie